Oscar swag bag academy awards 2017 namira monaco brooch

At the Academy Awards, “Everyone wins”. Even if they don’t bag the golden statue, they’re getting massive goodies reportedly worth a whopping £160,000. So really, we don’t think Meryl Streep or any of the leading ladies will be too disappointed if they don’t get to break into a speech at the Oscars this year—because, they’ll be too busy living it up in Hawaii for a week. Well, that’s an option along with many other goodies, experientials, and services packed into the Oscar 2017 gift bag which, by the way, is an infamous giveaway because it’s not even officially affiliated with the Academy.

The Scoop: In 2016 the Academy sued Distinctive Assets, the company giving out these gift bags on their own accord. Why? Well, let’s just say vape pens and vibrators aren’t exactly the souvenirs the Academy wants to be associated with. #TB2016.

But, no one cares. Yet again this year, the swag bag has been making headlines for its hefty price tags and everyone wants to know, what’s in store for the nominees (yes, it’s given to just the 25 who’ve been nominated in the main categories). Ready for some pre-Oscar amusement? As lovers of all things beauty and fashion, here’s what’s on our Lust List:

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  • A 10-year supply of Oxygenetix Breathable Foundation (£45 for 15ml) and Moisturiser (£55 for 50ml). The patented Ceravitae™ Complex supports new skin cell production while natural ingredients such as aloe and Vitamin E create a light, breathable texture. Basically, it’s an anti-ageing miracle.
  • Luxury T-shirts by the Happiest Tee which celebrate the spirit of travel to your happy place, or just, happiness in general. Fairly ordinary looking, these guys go for $118 (£94 approx) a Tee. Free in bulk, they’re sure to make us happy.
  • Belldini, a chic women’s apparel brand which is all about the “little details”. Apparently, the gift certificate was worth over $300 (£240) last year. The clothes, well, the lightweight knits are what we’re loving the most from their collection.
  • A 5-year supply (worth $31,200, or £24,800) of Lizora’s Personalized Collection which includes the Pu-erh Tea Nourishing Cream and Pu-erh Tea Cleansing Bar. They’re 100% organic and made using tea sourced straight from the Himalayas. Oooh, so fancy!

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  • Also in the bag are Medice Foot Care Kits, because, of course, the stars will need another pedi after dancing all night. Can we get some, too? Especially since they’re worth, like $95 (£75).
  • For jewellery lovers, the Oscar swag bag has baguette studs worth $215 (£170 approx) courtesy Park and Buzz. But, it’s the solid gold and diamond-encrusted OM bracelet from Yoga Jewelz ($375/£300), and the limited edition brooch and pendant (price undisclosed) from the Namira Monaco Pole Star Constellation that are the real showstoppers.
  • The anteater-patterned Jules K Handbag priced at an average $370 (£295) is also a hot favourite on our list. It has an origin story that is quite poetic: “A little girl falls in love with anteaters. That same girl grows into a woman who loves handbags.”

And… Here Comes The Quirky

With an amazing, all-inclusive stay at the Lost Coast Ranch and the Grand Hotel Excelsior Vittoria in Italy, the nominees also get a handful of bizarre goodies.

  • Haze Dual V3 Vaporizer… because smokers die younger. Andrew Garfield, heard that?
  • Elvie limited edition pelvic floor exercise tracker (and app)… our Oscar nominees really need to get their fitness game up; except you Ryan, you’re fine AF.
  • Dandi Patch underarm sweat patches… because, there’s no place for perspiration when you’re wearing couture, darling.
  • SweetCheeks cellulite massage mats… we were literally ROFL when we saw this on the list. But, hey, c’mon, cellulite is a pretty serious (#FirstWorld) problem in Hollywood.
  • Naturally non-browning and non-GMO Project verified Opal Apples… you can never have too many apples? Especially those that are non-browning. 😆

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